TV-MA

55 min. per episode

Netflix

Damn you Netflix and your attempt to create quality programming! You’re taking away from my binge-watching of shows I watched as a child. It is almost impossible for me to catch up with the last half of that season of The Walking Dead I missed last year. How can you do this to me as a television reviewer?! You have forced my hand in trying to get through a political drama starring Kevin Spacey you have had the nerve to dub House of Cards.

House of Cards is a show set in Washington D.C. during an alternate timeline where the President of the United States is Caucasian. This is truly a work of fiction because the time of the white man holding power is over… until the next presidential election where two old white guys who are so far behind the times they think a terrabyte is an alien from Star Trek run for office. Anyway, this show is all about Francis Underwood (Kevin Spacey), an important member of US Congress who does whatever he can and uses whoever he can in order to get what he wants. So basically, an incredibly accurate depiction of all politicians. His goal: to become President of the United States.

Good God, what a mediocre cast. First you have Kevin Spacey playing the lead role as mentioned above. Spacey once again proves that making an interesting character is not his specialty. The whole time you’re watching all you can think is, why was he cast in this role? I mean, sure, the character is multilayered, manipulative, and down right evil with a southern drawl; but where are the guy’s superpowers? Where’s the ridiculous costume? The gadgets? He doesn’t even have an arch nemesis! All he does is break the fourth wall, play every angle he can to a fault and somehow end up on top, then pwn noobs at Call of Duty when his day is done.. He’s always five steps ahead of everyone. It just doesn’t make sense. He…he…aw crap.

Confession time folks. This is actually the hardest show I’ve had to review for one particular reason: I can’t find anything to make fun of. I’m not trying to say the show is perfect or it’s the end-all be-all. In fact, I’ve only made it to the beginning of season two. However, there is nothing about the show’s first season worth mentioning that would knock it down a few pegs. Every character is well thought out and interesting, even the minor characters that you almost never see, like the Vice President or even the President. The cast is one of the best I’ve ever seen. The plot twists are nuts! Despite the show having little to no action scenes (I JUST WANT ONE BAR FIGHT!), you can’t keep your jaw off the floor at some of the things Underwood does just to get ahead. People are just a means to an end for this Good Ol’ Boy from South Carolina.

Honestly, beyond the characters and plot, there really isn’t much to talk about with this review. Yes, the direction and cinematography are excellent, but when the show is just talking and no action you honestly run out of things to mention. The only thing I can say is if you made it through Lincoln without falling asleep (like I did), then this show is for you. It’s got everything people want: betrayal, sex, and allusions to Kevin Spacey’s role in the new video game Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. It’s basically Game of Thrones, only less sword fights!

9/10