TV-PG

22 min. per episode

Cartoon Network

Okay, so in hindsight I should have tried to get this review STARTED in time to make sure it was going to be out for May 4th. However, I totally forgot that was ‘Star Wars Day’ until I started seeing all the “May the Fourth be with You” posts on social media, mainly because I don’t believe in fake Internet holidays that don’t get me a day out of work (that includes you, ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’).

So anyway, Star Wars: The Clone Wars is yet another cartoon show that is supposed to fill in the events between Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones and Episode III – Revenge of the Sith. It also ties in with the previous 2D series that shares the same name. It shows the corruption in the Galactic Senate (because even in the future [past?] {am I allowed to put a parenthetical phrase within a parenthetical phrase?} the politicians are assholes), the hardships of war, and of course, lightsaber battles. Those are always awesome, and if anybody says they’d rather have a phaser over a lightsaber, they are not a real human being.

Before I go on, I should mention that this show’s “debut/pilot” episode was a full-length feature movie that hit theaters back in 2008. To be fair, the film was actually decent, but it would have served much better as a three-part episode rather than a movie. This is mainly due to the fact that it literally just felt like three episodes of a television show rolled into one 90-minute block. So this review will include the movie as a part of the series… because it is.

At any rate, this show is way better than anything the prequel trilogy brought to the Star Wars universe. Seriously, it has everything you could ever want from a Star Wars television show… except a naked Natalie Portman. The plots have actual depth and not only deal with smashing battle droids, but also the political side of war. There’s always some scheme being hatched by a crooked politician, or the soon to be Emperor is taking advantage of the Senate’s bylaws in order to further his own goals. I give the show a lot of credit for doing this because it acknowledges that the viewers aren’t dumb, yet at the same time keeps things simple enough for everyone to follow.

The animation is astounding and the worlds include so much detail that you want to hop in your spaceship and jump to hyperspace just to see them! Also, the action scenes are a ton of fun. The explosions, the blast shots, and the lightsaber battles [drools] are all something to behold. Plus, this show gets war in the sense that it doesn’t sugarcoat everything, especially death. I mean, seriously, I can’t even count how many clone troopers get killed in this show. There’s always a gigantic battle that makes you want to push ‘start’ and join in on all the CGI fun!

The characters are all pretty fleshed out and the voice acting is pretty good too. The best, by far, is James Arnold Taylor as Obi-Wan Kenobi. He does an amazing job highlighting the struggles Kenobi has to deal with not just on the battlefield, but also what he has to endure playing the role of teacher to Anakin Skywalker, who does not listen EVER. Taylor does a great job with Obi-Wan’s sarcasm as well.

Most of your favorite Star Wars characters play some part in The Clone Wars, or at the very least make a cameo appearance. Chewbacca, Yoda, C-3PO, and RD-D2 all show up in one form or another. However, the show has also added some new characters to this universe, and one in particular stands out: Ashoka Tano. She is the new apprentice to Skywalker, and aside from being a studious padawan, she is also totally badass! Quick witted, keen with the force, and totally awesome with a lightsaber, Ashoka is a much better addition to the Star Wars universe than a certain OTHER character that I won’t mention here…which brings me to the show’s biggest flaw and beer number two…

So this is definitely a hard two beer show. Yes, I find the animation and storytelling to be excellent with a voice cast that is pretty solid, but goddamn it, Jar Jar just ruins everything! It doesn’t matter how many episodes he’s NOT in, even three seconds of Jar Jar screen time is enough to make my eyes scowl and teeth grind!

Other than that, however, the show is pretty entertaining and does a great job of filling the gap between Episodes II and III. It’s definitely a must-see for any fan who totally can’t control their nerd boner in anticipation of next Summer’s “Guy Movie Season.” (Seriously, between Avengers: Age of Ultron, Mad Max and Jurassic World, I really can’t control what’s going on in my pants when thinking about it.)

 

And now, a Star Wars: The Clone Wars Drinking Game 

Take a Drink: Every time someone says “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Take a Drink: Every time someone says the word “force.”

Take a Drink: Every time you want to kill Jar Jar Binks.

Take a Drink: Every time there is a reference to the Original Trilogy.

Take a Drink: Every time a clone trooper or battle droid gets killed. (WARNING: Only use this rule if you’re pre-gaming in a hurry and need to leave the house in 30 minutes or less!)

Take Two Shots: For every Wilhelm Scream you hear.

 

All episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars are currently available to stream on Netflix.

Be sure to check back with us here on Morbidly Amusing for all news Star Wars, especially with the anticipated release of Star Wars: Episode VII about a year and a half away.