The Horror Remake Bloody Bracket – Round One: The Hills Have Eyes (2006) VS. The Wicker Man (2006)
THE HORROR REMAKE BLOODY BRACKET
The third match-up of Round One pits two horror remakes from 2006 against one another. One is an update of a grisly Wes Craven flick from 1977, while the other takes everything about Robin Hardy’s 1973 original and turns it on its head. Do the radioactive psychopaths have their day in the sun, or do the bees eat their faces off? Morbidly Amusing debates.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
The Wicker Man (2006)
Dr. Morbid: While I may be a hardcore Cage fan and it may be enjoyable to watch him punch women in the face, The Wicker Man is terrible. The Hills Have Eyes remake is bloody, mean-spirited and overall more effective than the ultra-low budget original. Alexandre Aja’s follow-up to High Tension gets the win here, although I give special props to Nic Cage in a bear suit. Victor: The Hills Have Eyes
Ross Tweedy: This one is hard. The Hills Have Eyes is pretty decent, but The Wicker Man is so fuckin’ funny that it ends up being great entertainment. The violence in Hills is pretty nuts and the make-up for the mutants is quite effective. I have to say though that Cage takes it. He is manic and wears a goddamn bear suit while kicking ladies asses. Good win Cage! Victor: The Wicker Man
That Other Raimi Brother: For me, this is easily the toughest match-up of Round One. The Cage is quite possibly my favorite human being on planet earth, and while The Hills Have Eyes is the rare remake that actually improves upon the original, his presence alone is enough to make The Wicker Man a legit contender. While it doesn’t in any way shape or form function as a horror film, throughout its runtime it proves to be pound for pound one of the funniest films in recent memory. The Hills Have Eyes is a fantastic update of Wes Craven’s original, which I personally have never really understood the praise for. What Aja does with the update is put America’s radioactive past front and center and the horror that ensues is all the more effective because of it. Although voting against Cage for me is literally the most painful thing I will ever experience in my life, The Wicker Man just isn’t a horror film. Victor: The Hills Have Eyes
Although The Cage’s performance in The Wicker Man is undoubtably one for the ages, the literally radioactive Hills Have Eyes update takes it 2 votes to 1.
Up Next: Halloween (2007) VS Friday the 13th (2009)